wasn’t online for a couple of weeks … because of a lot of reasons. In the past there was more then one time I thought everything would be good and I’m okay. But not for a only second it was the truth. It only get worse and worse… especially at the moment … I know exactly that something goes wrong, but it feels like that I can’t do anything. Just watch it while everything turns bad. I’m so tired all the time. Not a second at day I feel completely awake. (not that I felt ever complete in my life) *sigh* and I sleep the most of the time .. so I feel like i would miss everything what happend around me. I’m so weak … urg … my life just sucks